How do you know that your life revolves around IM!?!?!?!?

When you get your bday cake and there's a giant Mdot on the top. Yep, that's right folks I'm officially over the hill and more importantly into the 35-39 age Bracket. Had an awesome bday party with Just one good buddy of mine, and his family. It was long over due that we had Curtis over for a bbq, yummmmmy. Oh but don't read too much into that, I still had time for nearly 3 hours of training yesterday. Did a swim right after work, then rode the trainer for 1.5 hours after my belly had digested most of the ice cream cake. It was an easy spin so nothing to make me puke or anything. In the pool earlier it was nice to do short fast intervals, 80x25 the main set. It made me feel fast to keep up and actually pass some of the kids from the Cascade swim club, boy oh boy do they ever kick my ass if I'm doing longer stuff.

The weekend was supposed to be a big cycling block, outdoor cycling that is. But as Mother nature so often does, she throws a bunch of cooler weather at us and I'm forced to ride the trainer. On Sat. I waited till 1:30 and it was still only 3 degrees and no sun so I decided to ride indoors. I find I really need to prepare mentally for the tough workouts and to have to change plans majorly like that really hurts. It seems all I did on the weekend was ride the trainer, 4.5 hours sat. and 5 sun. OUCH!!!

This weekend's weather looks better, I probably shouldn't even mention this in my blog as I'm sure now Mother Nature will thwart yet another attempt to ride outside. Overall the spring has been good, lots better than last year I've had tons more outdoor riding then a few springs now. But I need more, more more more!!! I was gonna go for a big sub 90min half mary at the police half this year, but Coach wants me to do a long ride Sat. He asked me how important the half mary was, my response "It's ALL about IM cda, what ever I gotta do I'll do it!!!" aside from jumping off a bridge, although if I had it in writing that I'd get a slot for that I might consider it, hmmmmm. Who knows maybe I'll still go sub 90, my running is so strong right now it's never been this good even just before other IMs and we have 2.5 months to go!!!! Time to really crank up the volumn, how much can my body take?? By the end of this build up, I will know, that's for sure.

I've learned so much about myself this year. I've learned that yes I can do more than I've ever done before(I thought that same thing last year). I've learned that it's much harder to train through mental break down than physical. Mind over matter right? But if there's no mind.... then what? I've learned that I just could never do this full time, although some may consider 20 hours a week full time already?? It's gonna go up from there and one thing's for sure, before the end I will probably hate this sport many times over. How do pros/elites train sooo friggen much and absolutely love their job??? I think it takes a certain type of person, I am not that person, I hate it lots of times. But that's ok, I can see a light at the end of the tunnel and when I cross the finish line it'll all be worth it!! If it sounds like I'm burnt out, don't worry I'm really not. I do burn out at times, but I also recover really quickly and Chuckie makes sure of that!!

Maybe the reason I don't enjoy it as much as others, and burn out so easily mentally is that I don't actually swim/bike/run for the fun of it? Let me explain, I started running because of how it made me feel. I had low self esteem, and absolutely LOVE the endorphins and feeling of euphoria that you get from running, somtimes in cycling and once in awhile in the pool. I also like to push myself, challenge myself, every time I finish a hard workout or finish somthing in X amount of time(perhaps faster than the time before) I feel good. Isn't that normal? But I'm thinking more of you actually enjoy the workout itself. Not me, in 95% of my workouts the moment I start I'm already looking forward to finishing and feeling gooooooooooooood. I am addicted to it, I want more. Will finishing in kona be any different than a cda or a IMC finish? Maybe not, but why not find out for sure? ;)